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Or, one person could be unavailable because he/she is already in a committed relationship.Or, perhaps one or both are so busy, they don't give any priority or time to meeting others. For that reason, active searching for others and meeting many people statistically increases your odds of finding someone highly compatible to you.Jerry came to counseling because he was tired of being so shy and wanted to be able to meet women and eventually marry and have a family.He knew that his current path was not leading him in the right direction, and he was very upset about it. I helped him with conversational skills, assertiveness skills, and with building self-esteem and confidence. Nevertheless, within three years he became president of a fraternity, had all the dates he wanted, had lots of friends, and had changed his major to one requiring a high level of interpersonal skills.This continuum starts with strangers at the low end, then moves to casual friends, people who are close in only one or two specific areas, people who are close in many areas for a short time, and ends with those closest in many areas over a long time span.They may be married, be close family members, or have an extremely close friendship. Man, I had a little imaginary friend when I was a kid. We used to play checkers with each other everyday and bless his heart, Shiloh would always let me win. There's something odd in that, but maybe that's what it takes to make you feel connected to somebody. But I know when that red-head starts getting kooky, there's something about me that feels alive inside. You're a really enlightened cat and I like that about you.
That "friend" was actually someone who had used him.Why is it that two people become friends or lovers and others don't?Following are some general causes that research has shown to be important.1. There may be many people "out there" who you could be good friends with or could be happily married to. They live in another city or a block away, and you never meet them. Jeremy: Ah, Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. You're sitting there you're wondering "Do I have food on my face? I mean, I believed that she was a virgin and it hurts to be lied to like that. But I, you know, was looking to take advantage of something, too, so could I really feel that bad? [makes motorboat noises] You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor, you! Yea, maybe that would fall under the category of creepy. And perhaps play a little game called just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels, or "Ouch, ouch, you're on my hair."Jeremy: (confesses to a priest) She's good.