Too eager dating
“We were hook-up buddies, I thought I had the perfect thing set up and then one night she just broke down crying asking to date me and then called and texted, making it painfully obvious she was struggling to make something more out of it than what was there which made her so much more unattractive.” Lesson learned: If you’re just hook-up buddies, that could be all you are.
Don’t assume every encounter you have with a guy has the potential to turn into a real relationship. I knew I shouldn’t cross the professional boundaries, but for some reason I thought it was okay to drunkenly call and text him asking him to come over.
Trust me, there are way better things to do with your time.
The guys aren’t always going to drop what they’re doing and sweep you off your feet; it’s a shame, we know, but this doesn’t mean you have to put all your energy into desperately searching for “the one.” We talked to college girls and guys who shared their experiences about girls who didn’t get the “be a little mysterious” message.
If he says he doesn’t want a girlfriend, he doesn’t want a girlfriend (or he just doesn’t like you). “When that special person comes along, he will be a complement to your life, the icing on the cake, not the cake,” Martenson says.
It makes sense; you try harder in school to get better grades, you try harder at practice to beat the track record, but if you try harder at getting the guy, he will run in the opposite direction. Carly from the University of Michigan noticed she was leaning towards desperate when she used to think, "I want a boyfriend" in general instead of "I want *Hot Boy John* to be my boyfriend." If he’s really the right guy for you, he won’t be replaceable. “Overbearing, overwhelming, annoying,” says Jeff from Michigan State University.I still continued to invite him out with me all the time and asked him for help in class.I did anything I could to spend time with him even though I knew he didn’t like me.” Lesson learned: Don’t play dumb and pretend like you need him to be your study buddy just so you can spend time with him (plus, that’s so Mean Girls). Martenson says, “Young women often derive their ‘worth’ from whether or not they have a boyfriend, and who that boyfriend is, how good looking, wealthy or popular.” Come on, collegiettes, you’re awesome and you know it—and you certainly don’t need a man to prove it.It helps if you don’t talk about every encounter with a guy like it was a magical made for TV moment.If you text multiple guys for attention, you should try putting your phone away when you know you’re more likely to text them (when you’re around couples, after you start drinking, when you’ve just heard bad news about something).